After living on this earth for thirty- something years, I have my first full time job, and I start next week! It's crazy, scary, exciting, overwhelming, timely, and 'right,' all at the same time. I've been looking for just a little while and just started to send my resume out nine days ago. It is all happening so fast! I had my first interview last week, and they offered a second interview that same day. Preparing for an interview was kind of scary. I have only had a couple formal interviews in my life, and they were years ago. Most of the jobs I've gotten in the past have just come to me, so going out and seeking one was a little out of this lady's comfort zone. I dropped my keys, (which made a really loud noise) put my previous work experience in the previous address column, ( I had to ask for a new fourth page) and dropped a bunch of change out of my wallet when I was placing my license back into it. This was all BEFORE my first interview. As I looked around at all the people waiting for their first interview, I felt very inadequate. I thought a few times, 'What am I even doing here?' 'They aren't going to hire me.' I had to fight off some pretty negative thoughts as I waited to be called. I just kept praying and asking God to make a way if this was Him and to calm my nerves and anxieties.
When my name was finally called, the interview went extremely well, except one part. The interviewer let me know that there were only two day positions left and what they were really looking for were night employees. I explained to her that I needed to have days because I needed to be with my family at night. She understood, but was honest enough to tell me that there was a good chance I would have to work nights until at least January.
She then asked me to have a seat because I had been chosen for a second interview. As I waited for interview number two, I pondered all kinds of scenarios in my head. Could I do this? Could I make it work just until January? I would get home at 8pm, which would give me just about an hour with the kids. Through the scattered thoughts, I heard my name being called for part two.
She then asked me to have a seat because I had been chosen for a second interview. As I waited for interview number two, I pondered all kinds of scenarios in my head. Could I do this? Could I make it work just until January? I would get home at 8pm, which would give me just about an hour with the kids. Through the scattered thoughts, I heard my name being called for part two.
The second interview was a little more intense. The woman asked lots of questions that I hadn't prepared for, but I was grateful that God gave me answers to provide. I know it was His help because the interviewer kept saying, 'great answer.' Once the interview was over, she told me I would hear back from someone the following week. I left still wondering how I could make a night schedule work for our family.
We had church that night and as I was sharing with a friend about the interview and the job, I just said out loud what I needed to be saying all along. 'I'm not going to take it if they offer me nights.' Sometimes, talking things out leads you to your answer. I told my friend that I was just going to trust God - that if He wanted me there, He would make one of those two jobs available to me. Of course once I made that decision, my mind became a battlefield of thoughts, again. 'Why would they give one of those day position to ME?' 'I don't have previous experience in this particular field.' 'But, we need the money, so I should just take whatever they will give me.' I just kept doing my best to hand it all over to God. I know that, ultimately, I can cast my cares upon Him because He cares for me. It wasn't an easy task for me to just let it go, but I kept doing it each time I realized I was obsessing or dwelling on it.
We had church that night and as I was sharing with a friend about the interview and the job, I just said out loud what I needed to be saying all along. 'I'm not going to take it if they offer me nights.' Sometimes, talking things out leads you to your answer. I told my friend that I was just going to trust God - that if He wanted me there, He would make one of those two jobs available to me. Of course once I made that decision, my mind became a battlefield of thoughts, again. 'Why would they give one of those day position to ME?' 'I don't have previous experience in this particular field.' 'But, we need the money, so I should just take whatever they will give me.' I just kept doing my best to hand it all over to God. I know that, ultimately, I can cast my cares upon Him because He cares for me. It wasn't an easy task for me to just let it go, but I kept doing it each time I realized I was obsessing or dwelling on it.
Thankfully, I got a call the very next morning because waiting for Monday night would have been difficult. The call came from the Senior Recruiter in Human Resources. She congratulated me and told me they'd be glad to have me on their team. I was excited, but nerves came right away as she began to discuss wages and hours. The wages were decent, but the shift she was offering me was not. In that moment I had to decide to either take the job and just make it work for now, or speak up. You know, just like the weddings 'speak now or forever hold your peace!' I decided to speak now. I told the woman that nights would not work for our family and that I really needed days. She said, 'Well, we really liked you and we really want you with us. We have two day positions, and I'd be happy to offer one to you.' I was so appreciative and beyond excited; for about twooooo seconds. She explained to me that working days would mean full-time and that it wasn't a typical M-F, gig. I would also have to work on Sundays, but I would have Wednesdays and Saturdays off, and I could reevaluate my schedule in January. Ultimately, what I felt was excitement that my prayer about days had been answered, but I knew I had to talk with my husband before agreeing to anything. I told her I had to give my husband a call and see if that would work for us. I explained to her that Sunday is a day of worship for us, but that we also go on Wednesdays. She was very understanding.
I hung up with her and called Chris right away. He was one hundred percent on board with it. My next call was to my daughter. She was very excited and glad that I'd be home for them in the afternoon and evening. My last call was to a friend who is a good voice of reason. She said she thought it would work well for our family and that I had to keep in my mind that it was just a season. I explained to her my hesitancies regarding missing Sunday service, and she reassured me that my relationship with God goes far beyond that; that I would still have Wednesdays and Chris would take the kids to church. She pointed out some other families that have made this type of schedule work. I was grateful for her wisdom. So, I called back, accepted the position, and the rest is HIStory!
I venture out next week towards a new and unknown journey. And, although its scary and different, I'm relying on the One who goes before me and knows the beginning from the end. He's not scared or surprised, and He's not limited by my fears or doubts, my inexperience or unsteadiness. And, even if I had all the skill, knowledge and peace in the world, I'd rather forfeit all of that for what HE has. It is through Him and by Him that I am strong and able to stand in the sinking sand of this life. I know that Christiano is up there, cheering me on. He's happy that I'm choosing life and and all it's creativity over the box I've been held captive to for so long. God is creative; in His love and in His service. His thoughts and acts toward us are rare, vast, and beautiful.
'Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful! God, I’ll never comprehend them! I couldn’t even begin to count them— any more than I could count the sand of the sea. Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!'
Psalm 139:17-22
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