A Time to Break Down, And A Time To Build Up

Ecclesiastes 3:1-22 says, 

'For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; ...'

'A time to break down, and a time to build up...'

I shared with a friend yesterday, then  I shared later on with my counselor, that I have been having a hard time allowing myself to 'break down.' God is a good God who has filled me with His joy and I want everyone to know that about Him. Sometimes, I feel the need to protect or hold up the image of God for my family and friends. I become determined make sure that everyone around me sees God for who He is - a good, loving, forgiving, merciful, and full of grace God. My friend reminded me of something I already knew in my heart; that God doesn't need me to hold Him up. in fact, by trying to do that, I'm not letting Him hold me up. Right now, in this season, when everyone is preparing to give thanks, I am grieving, I am mourning, and I am sad. I am broken, I am hurting, and I am sick. The good news is that Jesus came to comfort the hurting,  to give joy to the  sad ones, and to heal the sick. Although, I posses those truths now, it will take me some time to KNOW them again. In time He will make my heart brand new, but right now it's still broken. Last night, my counselor reminded Chris and I that Jesus cried when Lazarus died, even though He knew that he would be raised from the dead and walk on this earth again. Our son, Christiano, did not get to get up and walk on this earth again, and we're still crying; and that is ok. Jesus understands our pain. He understands what it's like to hope for a different outcome and plead for there to be another way. Jesus relates to us in every way, and He promises that there will come a day with no more tears. But, today is not that day for us.Today, we will cry, we will hurt, and we will grieve, but today we will also give thanks because God is near to our broken hearts and ever present help to the needy. He is with us, ALWAYS and promises never to leave us or forsake us. He will get in the miry pit with us, He will bend His ear to listen to our cries, and in time, He will wipe every tear from our eyes, but until then we will lift our eyes and we will give thanks for every blessing. Happy Thanksgiving to all.