And Then There Were Three...

And Then There Were Three...

Three sets of lips to kiss goodnight. Three sets of hands to hold. Three mouths to feed. Three hearts to shape. Three minds to help mold. Three bodies to tuck in. Three souls to pray for. And, three Easter baskets to lay out. 

It's not getting easier because the missing him is getting stronger; the yearning much deeper. I ache in places I never knew existed, and I feel an actual, physical ache in my heart. I didn't want to spend Easter weekend without him.

Every year since he was born we've colored Easter eggs with him. Every year, we've bought new Easter outfits that accent one another, and we take a family picture. Every year I've bought all his favorites to fill his basket - Milk Duds, Cadbury mini eggs, Laffy Taffy, Starburst, and Reese's and Tootsie Rolls ( he always called them twitsie rolls). 

We feel robbed. We were robbed. Families are supposed to grow not shrink. Christiano is supposed to be with us, and it's not fair, and it doesn't make sense. But, lots of things in life are not fair, and God has felt our pain; the pain of loss and suffering; the pain of injustice and evil. God had a rough Easter weekend once, too. The first Good Friday was full of pain for God , for Jesus, for his disciples, and for his followers. A spotless and blameless man sent to be slaughtered in my place; crucified for my sins. But, then Sunday came. Jesus was raised from the dead for all his disciples to see, and He was reunited with His Heavenly Father. Death could no longer hold Him because Love had won and death was conquered. I'm so thankful for my God and Savior.

But, I'm waiting for my Sunday to come; when I'm reunited with my son, and I get to be with him forever. My weekend is lasting a lot longer than I would like it to, but just like Jesus, I have some things to do here on this earth. God has a purpose for me, and it's not my time to be physically seated in heavenly places yet. 

Easter weekend was full of joy and pain at the same time. When the joy over took me, the pain was still nagging, and when the pain over took me the joy still found me. But, more than ever before, I'm in awe of Calvary. I'm in awe of the love that was displayed on the cross for me. I'm seeing God's sacrifice more clearly now, and for that I am grateful. That very first Easter weekend was similar - full of joy and pain at the same time. But, joy won that weekend; just like joy wins for me. Whether I feel it or not, I know it - and its full in me. That joy comes in knowing my Sunday will come, and that I will be with my boy and my Savior forevermore. Oh, what a glorious day it will be.

"These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might abide in you, and that your joy might be full." JOHN 15:11